Common Mental Loops That Hinder High-Achieving Women

🥊 “Jingjin, have you ever considered that women are just inferior to men?” That was her opening line. The lady who challenged me was not a traditionalist in pearls. She was one of the top investment bankers of her time, closed billion-dollar deals, led global teams, the kind of woman whose voice dropped ten degrees when money was on the line. And she meant it. “Back in my day, if I had to hire, I’d always go for the man. No pregnancy leave. No PMS. No emotional volatility. Just less… liability.” And she doesn’t believe in what I do. Helping women lead from a place of wholeness. Because to her, wholeness is a luxury. Winning requires neutrality. And neutrality means: be less female and suck it up! I’ve heard versions of this many times, and too often, from high-performing women who "made it" by suppressing. But facts are: 🧠 There are no consistent brain differences between men and women that explain men’s “logic” or women’s “emotions.” 💥 Hormones impact everyone. Men’s testosterone drops when they nurture. Women’s cortisol rises in toxic workplaces, not because they’re weak, but because they’re sane. 📉 What we call “meritocracy” is often a reward system for those who can perform like they have no body, no children, no cycles. None of those are biologically male traits. They’re artifacts of a system built around male lives. So, if you're a woman who's bought into this logic, here are some counter-strategies: 🛠 1. Study Systems Like You Studied Deals Dissect the incentives, norms, and bias loops of your workplace the same way you’d break down a P&L. Don’t internalize what’s structural. 🧭 2. Redefine Strategic Strengths Stop mirroring alpha aggression to prove you belong. Deep listening, self-regulation, and nuance reading, these are leadership assets, not soft skills. Use them ruthlessly. 💬 3. Name It, Don’t Numb It If your hormones impact you one day a month, say so, but also say what it doesn’t mean: It doesn’t cancel out 29 days of clarity, strategy, and execution. 🪩 4. Build Your Own Meritocracy Start investing in spaces, networks, and cultures where your wholeness isn’t penalized. If none exist, build them. 🧱 5. Deconstruct Before You Self-Doubt When you catch yourself thinking “maybe I’m not built for this,” pause. Ask: Whose rules am I trying to win by? Who benefits when I question myself? This post isn’t about defending women. We don’t need defending. It’s about calling out the internalised metrics we still use to measure ourselves. 👊 And choosing to rewrite them. What’s the most 'rational' reason you’ve heard for why women are a liability?

What’s really holding you back? Spoiler alert: It’s not your skills. How many times have you felt like you’re not up for the job? That you’re not qualified? Or that someone else could do it better? Here’s the reality: ➡️ 13% of employees and 20% of senior managers admit they frequently feel like a fraud. ➡️ 54% of women report experiencing imposter syndrome, compared to 38% of men. I get it, because I’ve been there. I used to struggle with being visible - giving speeches, creating content online, even doing TV interviews. Despite decades of experience, there was always a little voice in my head whispering: “Do people really want to hear from you? What if they laugh at you?” Here’s the truth: It’s not based on facts - it’s just the noise in our heads. Here’s how you can overcome imposter syndrome and show up like you deserve to: 1/ The Imposter Loop ↳ You doubt every win and question every achievement. ↳ Own your story: You earned your seat at the table. ↳ Write down three wins you’re proud of. Seeing them silences the noise. 2/ The Permission Trap ↳ You wait to feel ready or for someone to say “go.” ↳ Stop waiting: Start before you’re ready. ↳ Set a deadline and commit publicly - action builds momentum faster than waiting for confidence to strike. 3/ The Comparison Game ↳ You stalk others’ success and compare your chapter 1 to their chapter 20. ↳ Run your own race: Their doubts, fears, and failures aren’t in the highlight reel. ↳ Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger self-doubt. Focus on progress, not perfection. 4/ The Perfectionism Loop ↳ You polish endless drafts, overthink every detail, and never feel “good enough.” ↳ Launch at 80%: Fix it in flight. Done is better than perfect. ↳ Set a timer for your next task and stop when it’s ‘good enough.’ Progress beats perfection every time. 5/ The Silence Spiral ↳ You keep your struggles hidden and pretend you’ve got it all figured out. ↳ Share your story: You’ll be surprised how many people say “me too.” ↳ Find a peer or mentor and share one struggle you’re facing. Vulnerability builds connection. 6/ The Safety Net ↳ You stay in your comfort zone and call it “being realistic.” ↳ Take the leap: Growth lives outside your comfort zone. ↳ Identify one “safe” habit you’re clinging to. Replace it with one bold action, no matter how small. 7/ The Knowledge Shield ↳ You hide behind preparation, waiting to know “just one more thing.” ↳ Start doing: Expertise comes from action. ↳ Turn learning into doing: Commit to acting on one idea from the last book, course, or workshop you completed. What would be possible if you silenced those doubts once and for all? For me, it meant saying yes to opportunities I used to avoid - like speaking on stage and sharing my story. ⤵️ Have you ever felt like a fraud despite your accomplishments? How did you work through it? ♻️ Share this post to remind someone they’re not alone. 🔔 Follow me, Jen Blandos, for daily business insights.

When you’ve worked so hard to reach the top, why does self-doubt creep in even stronger? For many successful women leaders, loneliness and isolation at the top can amplify feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, commonly known as imposter syndrome. Even the most accomplished leaders get affected by this. As I climbed the ladder in my leadership journey, I expected to find greater confidence and validation. However, reaching the top brought about an unsettling mix of self-doubt and isolation. The paradox of feeling successful yet profoundly disconnected. Looking back, I can see some of the things that fuelled this sense of disconnect. This included lack of relatable peers locally (being CEO at 32),, the increased pressure to build on the work of my predecessor, fewer opportunities for honest reflection with trusted peers, and the absence of a sounding board to bounce off the high stakes decisions. Thankfully, loneliness doesn’t have to be a permanent part of leadership. As woman in leadership, you can combat both isolation and imposter syndrome by building intentional support networks and seeking mentors who can relate to their unique struggles. So, in addition to the list from yesterday, here are a few more on some of the ways to reclaim your confidence and connection. 1. Engaging in women's leadership groups. Professional groups focused on women in leadership provide spaces to connect with others who understand the specific challenges of being a woman at the top. These communities offer valuable reassurance and validation that help women combat feelings of inadequacy and gain strength from shared experiences. Some of the communities I have seen here on LinkedIn include The Ladies Book Breakfast Forum, WOMEN IN HR KENYA, and Women On Boards Network Kenya among others. Search for your industry group and be part of its activities and engagements. 2. Seek out mentorship   A trusted mentor can be a powerful ally against imposter syndrome. By connecting with someone who has walked a similar path, you can gain perspective from someone else's own journey and learn strategies to manage self-doubt. Mentorship also helps reinforce their accomplishments and provides guidance, helping them see themselves as competent and capable. 3. Finally, practice self-validation techniques.   Journaling, self-affirmations, or setting aside time to celebrate achievements can help counter the negative self-talk that loneliness and imposter syndrome trigger. Remember who you are. Recognize and acknowledge personal wins, no matter how small. These help to foster your confidence and reduces reliance on external validation. In this journey, success and self-belief can thrive together. Imposter syndrome can make the journey to success feel lonely and filled with self-doubt, but it doesn’t have to be this way. What are other networks available here on LinkedIn? Tag and help a sister 😀 #africa #leadershipdevelopment #professionalwomen #personaldevelopment #

I hear variations of this confession more than you'd think. Brilliant women, capable of running entire departments, companies, probably nations if we'd let them, admitting they're scared to reach for more in their career. Not because they can't do the work. They absolutely can. They're scared because they've watched the house of cards nearly tumble before. Maybe it was their own burnout - that soul-crushing time when everything became too much. Maybe it was watching a friend implode trying to juggle a demanding role while still being the "perfect" mother, partner, daughter. Or maybe they just feel perpetually one step away from the edge, constantly managing that impossible equation: prove yourself twice as hard at work + handle everything at home = total exhaustion. So they don't reach for more, career-wise. "If I can barely keep all these plates spinning now, how can I possibly take on more?" This fear isn't irrational. It's protective. Because society has convinced women that stepping up means doing MORE of everything, not doing things DIFFERENTLY. Here's what I see happening: Women limit their own ambitions to protect their carefully constructed balance. They turn down opportunities not because they lack capability, but because they can't imagine a scenario where success doesn't equal burnout. It's heartbreaking. It's untrue. And it's often completely subconscious. That's why so much of my work involves untangling what my WINners REALLY want from what they think is "realistic" or "sustainable." Because the truth is that you absolutely can step into that bigger role without sacrificing your sanity or your family. But it requires doing things differently: - Setting boundaries that actually stick - Delegating (yes, at home too) - Managing your energy, not just your time - Building systems that support your success instead of drain it One of my WINners was convinced she couldn't handle a VP role because she was already struggling to keep up at director level. Six months later? She's thriving in that VP position because we redesigned HOW she works, not just what work she does. So if you're holding yourself back because you're scared of the juggling act getting harder, let's talk about making it easier instead. Your ambitions aren't too big. Your current approach might just need an upgrade. Have you ever turned down an opportunity because you were afraid of burnout? What would change if you knew there was another way? P.S. That promotion you're afraid to go after? It might actually give you more resources and support to create the sustainable career you've been craving. Don't let fear of overwhelm keep you from the very opportunity that could solve it.

Few people associate career stagnation with feelings of unworthiness, yet this invisible thread often ties together self-doubt, hesitation, and missed opportunities. Most of my female clients tend to come to me struggling with self diagnosed imposters syndrome or lack of confidence. The reality is they are all struggling with low self worth. At its core, a self-limiting belief is a story we tell ourselves about what we can or cannot achieve. “I’m not ready for that promotion.” “I don’t have enough experience.” “I’ll never be a thought leader.” “I’m too old”. “I can’t do anything else I need to pay bills”. Many of us have had these thoughts—sometimes daily. While surface-level explanations might point to skills gaps or a lack of opportunity, such beliefs often have much deeper roots: our sense of worthiness. Worthiness is the belief that we are deserving of happiness, success, and recognition. When this internal compass falters, it quietly fuels self-limiting narratives. We start thinking we must be perfectly qualified before applying for new roles, or we hold back from sharing ideas out of fear they’ll fall flat. Over time, the fear of “not enough”—not experienced enough, not smart enough, not valuable enough—can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The consequences are significant. High performers sabotage their own advancement, passing up leadership opportunities or avoiding high-visibility projects. Some of us choose stay in our their comfort zone, failing to ask for raises or stretch assignments. Organizations, in turn, miss out on employees’ full potential and fresh perspectives. There’s good news: recognizing the role of worthiness is the first step toward change. Over the years I’ve used the below strategies to not only shift my own mindset, but for my clients as well. 🧐Self-Awareness: Regularly question the stories you tell yourself about your abilities and contributions. I ask my clients to ask themselves the question “how do I know that?”, when they start to limit them selves by saying I can’t because. ❤️Celebrate Small Wins: Build your sense of worthiness by acknowledging progress, not just milestones. David Goggins calls this the cookie jar. Everytime you do something well, write it down and refer to it when you doubt yourself. 🙃Reframe Failure: See setbacks as learning opportunities, not evidence of inadequacy. Ask, what did this teach me? 👯♀️Find your tribe:Mentors and sponsors can offer perspective and encouragement to challenge limiting beliefs. .The next time you catch yourself doubting your value or hesitating to take a leap, remember: Your sense of worthiness might just be the key to your next career breakthrough. For more career insights join us My Sisters Shoulders. #careercoach #womenincorporate #executivecoach #fractionalchro ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My name is Olivia Cream. Follow me for more insights on human capital strategy and career growth. oliviacream.com

All week, I’ve been breaking down the hidden, self-imposed barriers that keep women from advancing in their careers. We’ve tackled The Loyalty Trap, The “Thanks, but No Thanks” Response, and Overqualification Syndrome. But this last one? It’s the trickiest of them all. → The Completion Mindset This one is sneaky because it doesn’t feel like a barrier. It feels like responsibility. It feels like doing the right thing. It sounds like: → “I just need to wrap up this deal first.” → “Once this project is finished, I’ll think about what’s next.” → “It wouldn’t be right to leave mid-cycle.” And so, women wait. Not because they lack ambition, but because they believe their work must be “complete” before they can move forward. But here’s the problem: There will always be another deal. Another project. Another reason to stay “just a little longer.” My tips for breaking through: For Women: The work will never truly be finished. Waiting for the perfect exit point means delaying your own career growth indefinitely. Instead of asking, “Is this the right time to leave?” ask yourself: ⚡ “What is the risk of staying too long?” For firms: You might be losing top female talent—not because they aren’t interested, but because they feel obligated to stay put. 🔹 Reframe career conversations. Instead of asking, “Are you open to a move?” ask: “What would need to be true for you to consider a move?” This small shift turns a yes/no decision into a forward-looking discussion. 🔹 Anticipate transition concerns. No one wants to leave unfinished work behind—so address it upfront: → How will your firm support a smooth transition? → Is there anything we can do to make the move more seamless? Careers don’t move in perfect, predictable cycles. If you’re always waiting for the right time, you’ll always be waiting. Have you ever stayed just a little longer—only to realize you stayed too long? Let’s talk. ⬇️ . . . #privateequity #womenshistorymonth #careergrowth #womeninbusiness

Women don’t take enough credit for their work. Yesterday, I had a conversation with one of my coaching clients that struck a nerve. She’s a Global Product Line Manager overseeing the growth strategy, vision, and direction of a $2B product line for a large Fortune 500 company. By all accounts, her impact is immense. But here’s the problem: because she doesn’t directly own P&L, she saw herself as being in a “support” role — not a decision-making one. This mindset has quietly sabotaged her for years. She hesitated to own the impact of her work, downplayed her contributions, and, as a result, minimized her role during interviews for leadership roles. This is a common pattern I see with many of my incoming female clients. We have been conditioned for decades to put our heads down, work hard, and only take credit for the direct work we do. We feel guilty for taking credit for the larger organizational impact because wasn't this “team effort"? But the hard truth is, if you don’t advocate for your own impact, no one else will. Inside THE FEARLESS HIRE, my signature career accelerator program, we work on breaking this self-sabotaging cycle so women leaders can show up confidently, own their value, and close high-paying leadership roles. Here are three strategies that help our clients authentically self-promote and 10X their confidence: 1. Reframe Your Role as “Strategic” Even if our clients don’t directly own the P&L, their work drives key business outcomes. The strategies they implement, the vision they shape, and the results they deliver are all part of the decision-making process. Through coaching, our clients learn to reframe their contributions in terms of the strategic outcomes they enable, so they can stop seeing themselves in support roles and start seeing themselves in decision-making ones. 2. Start with Facts, Not Feelings It’s easy to diminish the impact of our work when we approach our career through a lens of self-doubt. Instead, our clients learn to anchor themselves in facts. What are the measurable outcomes of their work? What specific problems have they solved? How can they quantify their contributions with numbers and metrics, like revenue growth, cost savings, or team performance improvements? Facts don’t lie, and become the cornerstone of increased self-confidence. 3. Learn the Art of Storytelling Facts are critical, but they need to be packaged in a compelling way. Our clients develop concise, engaging stories about their key achievements using my SOARR storytelling framework, focussing on the challenges they overcame, the decisions they made, and the results they delivered. These stories are powerful tools for interviews and executive conversations—they help you stand out and stay memorable. Taking credit for your work isn’t arrogance - that's real leadership. When you own your impact, you not only position yourself for high-impact roles, but you also inspire the next generation of women leaders to do the same. Agree?

➡️ Why Most High-Performance Advice Is Failing Women The productivity world wasn’t built for your biology. Most high-performance advice was designed by men, for men—and that’s exactly why it’s not working for so many high-achieving women. No shade to our hard-working men - we love to see you thrive, too! ------ ⬇️ Here’s the truth when it comes to high-performance for women: 1. Most Current Tips and Hacks are Based on a 24-Hour Rhythm, Not a 28-Day One 💡 Most advice assumes your energy, focus, and stress tolerance reset every day. 💡 But women operate on an infradian rhythm—your hormones fluctuate across a 28-ish day cycle (with special bonus versions in peri/menopause) ➡️ That means the “wake up at 5 AM, crush your goals, train hard daily” routine can lead to burnout when applied all month long. 2. Don’t Ignore the Power of Your Cycle 💡 Hormones like estrogen and progesterone impact your brain, motivation, creativity, and recovery. 📆 Your cycle can actually be your greatest tool for aligned performance—when you work with it, not against it. 💡High estrogen = peak energy and verbal fluency → great for meetings, launches. 💡High progesterone = more inward and detail-focused → great for deep work, planning. 3. Stop Pursuing Advice that Rewards Output Over Alignment 💡 Traditional high-performance culture glorifies nonstop output, but women’s biology is cyclical, and peak performance doesn’t mean performing at 100% every day. ➡️ Real success is learning how to ebb and flow intentionally—honoring rest + recovery as a strategic advantage. 4. You Need to Account for Hormonal Sensitivity to Stress 💡Chronic stress hits women harder. Many productivity protocols can inadvertently push our stress hormones into overdrive through overtraining, under-eating, and overworking—wrecking hormone balance over time. 💡 The same routine that energizes a man might push a woman into chronic low-level inflammation or cycle dysfunction. 5. Understand How Women Process Recovery - Physically and Mentally 💡“Just sleep 7 hours and meditate” is not enough. 💤 Female physiology needs more restorative practices based on where you are in your cycle. 💡 Luteal phase? You may need more sleep, slower movement, deeper nourishment. ---- ⬇️ The Solution? Personalized, Biology-Informed High Performance. This isn’t about doing less. It’s about doing it smarter—in rhythm with your body. --- 👋🏼 I'm Dr. Laura DeCesaris, Functional Medicine Strategist and Women's Health expert, and host of The Femme Factor Podcast ➡️ I've helped hundreds of professional women just like you take back control of their health, amplify their productivity and impact, and create more space for joy, vibrancy, and wellness in their lives. I'd love to help you do the same! Want to explore this for yourself? Let’s chat! DM me 'RHYTHM' and let's connect.

The Achievement Trap: When Success Becomes a Trauma Response... For so many high-achieving women I work with, striving became a survival strategy long before it was a career path. I see it consistently in my therapy room: brilliant, accomplished professionals who've used achievement as a shield, a validation mechanism, and sometimes, a desperate attempt to outrun the echoes of early relational wounds. But here's what decades of trauma research and my 15,000+ clinical hours have taught me: You can't achieve your way out of trauma. Achievement may have protected you once. It may have given you control when everything felt chaotic, or provided external validation when internal worth felt impossible to access. This adaptation served a purpose—it helped you survive. Yet at some point, many find themselves hitting a wall. The promotions, degrees, and accolades stop filling the void. The anxiety persists beneath the polished exterior. The relentless drive feels more exhausting than empowering. This isn't a failure of effort or ambition. It's a signal that healing requires different tools than those that built your success. For real transformation, we must address the foundation, not just renovate the rooms. We need to engage with the nervous system patterns, attachment wounds, and embodied beliefs that drive the achievement cycle. #relationaltrauma #highachievers #traumarecovery #achievementtrauma

If you’ve ever done everything right—and still felt like it wasn’t enough—you’re not alone. Let’s talk about the “Good Girl” Trap. Many high-achieving women were taught from a young age that success means: ✔️ Being liked ✔️ Avoiding conflict ✔️ Outworking everyone in the room But that mindset creates a dangerous loop: 🔁 Work twice as hard to prove your worth 🏆 Achieve the goal (but downplay it) 📈 Set an even higher bar 🔥 Burn out trying to reach it Sound familiar? As a recovering good girl people-pleaser, I now see how this feeds impostor syndrome. When you’re chasing perfection, even tiny mistakes feel like proof you don’t belong. The hardest part? This trap convinces you that just a little more effort will finally make you feel worthy. But that sense of enough? It doesn’t come from achievement. It comes from within. ✨ I had to leave what initially felt like my dream job at Apple to finally understand this: You don’t need to prove your worth. You need to own it. I wrote a deeper piece on how to break free from this cycle—plus the mental fitness tools that helped me shift from self-doubt to designing a career on my own terms. Have you fallen into the “Good Girl” Trap, too? 💬 Share your experience in the comments—what helped you start owning your worth? Your story could be exactly what another woman needs to hear today. 👉 Full article in the comments. #ImpostorSyndrome #WomenInTech #MentalFitness #CareerDevelopment #AuthenticLeadership